


Intimate Acts

by popkin16



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series), Watcher Entertainment RPF
Genre: First Time, Fluff, Food Sharing, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Mutual Pining, Softness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-17
Updated: 2021-01-17
Packaged: 2021-03-15 00:53:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28804608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/popkin16/pseuds/popkin16
Summary: Ryan starts stealing food off of Shane’s plate. Shane lets him.It takes Ryan awhile to realize that means a lot more than it seems.
Relationships: Ryan Bergara/Shane Madej
Comments: 56
Kudos: 284
Collections: The Shyan Shipping Society Stories





	Intimate Acts

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Glitterbae1104](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Glitterbae1104/gifts).



> → Once again, HUGE thanks to [Zhalia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zhalia/pseuds/Zhalia) and Vigilaunt for beta'ing for me. This would not be anywhere near as good as it is without them. Thanks also to [strawberrymilano](https://archiveofourown.org/users/strawberrymilano/pseuds/strawberrymilano) for reading it over and reassuring me when I was feeling low.  
> → Glitterbae, I love you. You were one of the first friends I made in this fandom and played a big part in making me feel so welcome. I appreciate you and value your friendship so highly <3  
> → Join the [Shyan Shipping Society](https://discord.gg/G3EfhGUZ9h) on discord to chat about the boys, connect with other fans, writing, fandom appreciation, and more!

_Sharing food with another human being is an intimate act that should not be indulged in lightly_. - M. F. K. Fisher

Despite all the driving, the body aches, and the general exhaustion that came with being crammed in a tiny car for hours on end, Ryan loved the road trip portion on Unsolved.

He was being paid to travel with his friends; to butcher the classics with his bad singing and play stupid car games, all while making funny videos for the internet. He got paid to sit next to Shane and eat chips out of the same bag while their fingers brushed. To share earbuds whenever they wanted to introduce the other to a new song, or listen to one of their favorites. He got to watch Shane nap, slumped against the window, eyelashes fluttering as he dreamed. He loved every second of it.

Though Ryan remembered how easy it had been before his feelings for Shane had become a warm, insistent ache in his chest, he knew there was no going back, and that he wouldn’t want to. Ryan didn’t have the words for what Shane meant to him beyond _vital_ and _beloved_ , the feelings incomprehensible in its enormity. He couldn’t imagine being without it.

Even if Shane never felt the same way, there was something meaningful in the way Ryan’s heart beat to a rhythm set by Shane’s existence.

It was the amount of time they spent together - during Unsolved trips and outside of it - that started it all. Shane and Ryan were comfortable with each other in the same way Ryan was with his family. It meant Ryan didn’t think twice to reach out and stab at a piece of hash brown on Shane’s plate, popping it into his mouth with a pleased little hum. Shane froze, his own fork full of omelet, brow furrowed. His brown eyes darted from his plate to Ryan’s mouth, and Ryan felt a small frisson of unease at the unexpected reaction.

Ryan and Shane stared at each other, the others’ conversation carrying on obliviously in the background, before Shane blinked and finished his bite of food. The tension eased and Ryan was left wondering why the tips of Shane’s ears were so pink, or why he couldn’t seem to look Ryan in the eye until they were checking into their hotel.

Shane, Ryan thought fondly, was a weird guy.

* * *

The only downside to eating at a new restaurant was deciding what to try first. Ryan always struggled, caught between two or more choices and hyper aware that everyone was waiting on him. Trying new dishes with Shane was different; the big guy was patient, smiling at Ryan over his cup and discussing the pros and cons of various meals. They wondered why more restaurants didn’t do platter choice, allowing customers small portions of different dishes to taste.

Ryan would never admit it on pain of death, but he trusted Steven’s food expertise and listened whenever Steven recommended a restaurant, so he wasn’t surprised to find himself struggling to pick something to eat. He bit his lip as he examined the menu, gaze darting between items.

“Pick one,” Shane said, and when Ryan met his eyes, Shane was smiling at him. The fading sunlight was lighting him up from the left, making his eyes glow, warming his skin. “I'll get the other.”

Ryan hesitated. “You mean…we’ll share?”

“Sure,” Shane said easily, shrugging his thin shoulders. His cheeks were steadily turning a soft pink. His gaze dropped from Ryan to the table between them. “If you have cooties I’ve no doubt already been infected through extended exposure. I’m a dead man.”

“Skipping out on your cootie shots, Shane? That doesn’t sound like you,” Ryan teased, laughing. Shane was always encouraging Ryan to get his flu shot and forcing drinks rich in vitamin C on him. It came from a place of concern, an outpouring of affection on Shane’s part, so Ryan indulged him - drinking the orange juice or making an appointment with his doctor. It made Ryan feel giddy that Shane was so concerned with his well-being.

“Too busy keeping up with you. You’d die without me, admit it.”

“Never,” Ryan said, still smiling. He pressed his smile against his fist, trying unsuccessfully to hide it. Shane’s eyes twinkled at him. “I might be eating better than I have since I lived at home -”

“- and getting more sleep,” Shane broke in.

“- but that’s all I’ll admit to.”

“Ryan, you would have a heart attack in the first haunted building you investigated alone. Or the floor would collapse under you.”

“Hey, now, who’s the clumsy dumbass out of the two of us?”

“That’s irrelevant! I’m not the one choosing the most disease ridden, dilapidated buildings to wander through!”

Before the argument could continue, their waitress arrived. Polite smile firmly in place, she briskly took their orders before hurrying off, leaving the two to let the previous topic drop in favor of discussing topics including, but not limited to: Micki and Dori, the latest Netflix releases, and who the sexiest man in Hollywood currently was.

“Henry Cavill,” Ryan insisted, glaring at Shane.

“Oscar Isaac,” Shane countered, raising an eyebrow.

“Cavill is -”

“Built, yes, I know,” Shane said, sounding long-suffering. Ryan may have talked about his muscles a time or two, but there was more to his interest in Cavill than just how good he looked in tight shirts.

“He also has hair I want to touch, and the stubble is sexy,” Ryan insisted. He definitely wasn’t looking at Shane’s hair or his stubble. He certainly hadn’t had a thought or two about what Shane’s hair would feel like between his fingers, or if kissing Shane when he had a five o’clock shadow would make Ryan shiver.

“Oscar Isaac has nice hair,” Shane protested, leaning forward. “It’s all dark and curly. He has nice brown eyes -”

“He’s short though,” Ryan wrinkled his nose. He liked guys bigger than him. Taller. In his extremely limited experience, anyway.

“Cavill’s not _that_ tall!”

“He’s taller than me!”

“An easy enough feat,” Shane grinned, tilting his head to the side.

“Fuck you, dude,” Ryan responded, but he was grinning too. He threw the wadded up straw wrapper at Shane and laughed when it bounced off Shane’s chest and into his lap.

“Real mature,” Shane grumbled, but when Ryan wasn’t looking he tossed it back, managing to hit him on the side of the neck. Before things completely devolved, the waitress returned with their meals. She set the paprikash in front of Shane and the rouladen in front of Ryan. After making sure there wasn’t anything else they needed, she left to wait on another table.

Ryan’s rouladen was _amazing_ , and he’d already eaten a solid portion of it before he thought to look at Shane’s food. The paprikash was an odd orange color, but it smelled good. Shane seemed to be focused on his food and hadn’t noticed Ryan watching him eat. Was Shane serious about his offer to share? He’d gamely ordered Ryan’s second choice and was enjoying it, but Ryan wasn’t sure if he could just reach over with his fork and grab some. Should he ask first?

Before Ryan could decide what he wanted to do, Shane caught him glancing at his plate. The corner of his mouth quirked into a small smile and he gently pushed his plate closer to Ryan. He took it for the small invitation it was and reached out to scoop some of the food up with his fork. Ryan didn’t hesitate to shove it into his mouth, and he closed his eyes and made an approving noise.

He opened his eyes to find Shane watching him closely, hands holding his fork in a tight grip. He was hunched over his plate, shoulders up by his ears. Though Ryan’s mouth was still full of food, he did his best to smile.

“‘S good,” Ryan mumbled. Shane’s shoulders moved down as he relaxed. Ryan pushed his plate a little closer to Shane in offering. “Want some?”

Shane hesitated for only a moment before reaching out to grab a taste. Ryan held his breath and watched closely as Shane’s mouth closed around his fork. He hummed, chewing slowly. When he met Ryan’s gaze, his eyes were bright. He looked so happy it made Ryan’s chest ache.

“Yours is good too,” Shane said, and it felt stupid to be so pleased. It wasn’t like _he_ made the food. Still, there was something intimate about watching Shane take food from Ryan’s plate. It made Ryan almost as happy as knowing he could help himself to Shane’s food if he so wished. The happiness was like a warm ball of light in his chest, and he couldn’t stop the big smile from stretching across his face even if he wanted to.

Shane stole one more bite from Ryan’s plate during the meal, and there were no words for what Ryan was feeling when Shane saved him the last bite of his own meal. His poor, bisexual heart wasn’t meant for this, he was certain. But Shane was like that - making Ryan feel things so intensely; a whirlwind of positive emotions that made his heart beat faster and his smiles more frequent.

* * *

"Why do you eat my food when you have your own?" Shane asked, not long after, watching as Ryan stole yet another fry from Shane’s container while his own was still full. He didn’t sound judgemental or angry, merely curious.

"Yours just tastes better,” Ryan shrugged. He spoke as casually as he could, but his heart was kicking up a bit from nerves. Was this where it all ended? If Shane hated it, he’d stop immediately, of course. Ryan was greedy for intimacy, but not at the expense of Shane’s comfort.

"We could switch plates," Shane suggested. His head was tilted down, but he was clearly watching Ryan for his reaction. Ryan stared down at his food, hands frozen on the picnic table they were sitting at. Slowly, he shook his head.

"No, that won't work." His throat closed off before he could say more.

 _Please_ , Ryan wanted to say, _this is all I get of you_.

Which wasn’t exactly true - Shane was his best friend and they spend all their time together - but Ryan wanted to be more than best friends. Unsolved had a better budget now, so they could afford to get their own hotel rooms. They didn’t often visit haunted places that required them to share a bed. These days, the closest to romance Ryan got with Shane was sharing his food. They didn’t even share bowls of popcorn; both were such kernelheads that they got their own bowls. Ryan had his own, special bowl at Shane’s place. Likewise, Shane had his own dedicated bowl at Ryan’s.

The way Ryan reacted to his attraction to Shane when they first met also meant they weren’t the type to touch. Pats on the back, joking nudges: these were the expressions of physical affection that made up the Ghoul Boys friendship. It made Ryan want to kick his past self’s ass. Ryan had shut down any physical affection from Shane and now he got so little of it.

The press of Shane’s leg against his under the table startled Ryan out of his thoughts. He jerked his head up to look at Shane, surprised by the gentle touch. Even more so when Shane left his leg against Ryan’s.

“Hey, man, I didn’t mean anything by it. You can keep stealing my fries.”

“If it bothers you…” Ryan trailed off. He bit his lip and hunched his shoulders, guilt a heavy stone in his stomach.

“It doesn’t,” Shane said reassuringly. “When have I ever kept quiet about something that really bothered me?”

Ryan couldn’t help but laugh. “Uh, all the time, dude? You’re living that ‘go to bed angry’ lifestyle.”

“Well, not this time,” Shane said firmly. He knocked his knee against Ryan’s, a brief tap, before he rested his leg against Ryan’s again. Ryan pressed back, cheeks burning with heat. It took everything Ryan had not to hook his foot around Shane’s ankle, a wordless request to stay close. “I promise.”

Ryan smiled, “Thanks, man. Feel free to help yourself to my food and drinks, too.”

“Oh, I will,” Shane said, and the casual authority in his voice almost made Ryan have a meltdown.

* * *

Ryan shouldn’t take Shane’s willingness to share food as free reign to take whatever the hell he wanted. He told himself this, repeatedly, but still found himself reaching out to snatch Shane’s chapstick right out of his hand after Shane had applied yet another layer. Something daring in Ryan made him apply it to his own lips, eyes locked with Shane’s, before pocketing it. He knew his face was full of challenge, hoping to provoke Shane into trying to get back what was his, to shove his hand in Ryan’s pocket while Ryan fought him off.

Shane’s eyes were dark and hooded. He smirked at Ryan but didn’t demand it back. Despite the disappointment that Shane wasn’t going to manhandle Ryan in an attempt to reclaim his chapstick, the hot look he gave Ryan had his toes curling inside his shoes.

Maybe his feelings weren’t so one-sided.

Ryan made a point of using the stolen goods in front of Shane. It was difficult to do when he couldn’t stop giggling, but Shane watching his mouth gave Ryan a high he hadn’t experienced in a while. The chapstick wasn’t making it easier, since Ryan’s heart got excited every time, whispering _this was something that had touched Shane’s mouth_. Shane always watched so closely, hands twitching like he wanted to do something, and he looked almost hungry when he met Ryan’s eyes afterwards.

It was making it difficult to stop.

When Shane settled into his chair and swung around to face Ryan, he immediately had Ryan’s attention. He’d been hyper aware of Shane for so long, but it was impossible to hide how attuned he’d become since he started stealing Shane’s chapstick. He saved his work and turned to face Shane, already smiling, vibrating with excitement over what was to come. Shane met his eyes and reached into his pocket. He slowly pulled out another chapstick.

He uncapped it. Ryan could tell this was one of his old ones - Shane had a collection of them at home, like he was afraid he’d run out and have a lip emergency or something. He cycled through them regularly, like a weirdo.

Shane reached up and rubbed it against his lips, eyes on Ryan. He smacked his lips together obnoxiously and Ryan narrowed his eyes. Before Shane could put it back in his pocket, Ryan was out of his chair and reaching for it. Shane could have easily stood up and held it out of reach, or pushed his wheeled chair backwards, away from Ryan. Instead, he let Ryan pry it out of his warm hands. Ryan dug into his own pocket and gave Shane back the one Ryan had been using for the last week.

Satisfied, Ryan applied the chapstick and peeked at Shane out of the corner of his eye.

He was grinning smugly. Asshole.

* * *

“You guys are being really fucking annoying,” TJ said, after they’d finished filming the post-mortem. Shane had put his hand on Ryan’s thigh and it’d shut down his brain for a full minute, and they’d had to reshoot the scene two more times before Ryan was on his game again. “The sexual tension has always been bad, but for the past few weeks it's been overpowering.”

“Guys wearing too much body spray kind of overpowering,” Devon added, tucking her hair behind her ears. Ryan grimaced. That was pretty bad.

“Sorry,” Ryan said, offering them a small grin. “We can try to tone it down.”

“It’s nice to see you two finally getting somewhere,” Devon said kindly, reaching out to rest one hand on Ryan’s arm. “But maybe keep the flirting to times when we’re _not_ filming.”

“Also, please don’t have sex on the set,” TJ added. He grinned at the immediate flare of heat in Ryan’s cheeks, and Ryan buried his face in his hands. “Happy for you both though, man.”

TJ clapped Ryan on the shoulder, gave him a little shake and was off, Devon smiling back at him as she followed.

The next time Ryan switched chapsticks with Shane, he stood close enough to feel Shane’s body heat. It was weird to loom over Shane where he sat sprawled in his chair, mouth curled into a knowing grin. Ryan thought about running his hands up Shane’s long thighs, about settling into Shane’s lap. He took the chapstick and sat back down, face and neck red with embarrassment, arousal twisting him up inside.

* * *

Occasionally, Buzzfeed liked to throw a party under the guise of showing employee appreciation. Ryan thought they’d all feel more appreciated if they had more creative freedom or better pay, but it was much less risky for the company to throw them a party with food and drinks. And who was he to turn that down?

By the time Ryan ran into Shane, he’d had a single drink and the mood of the room was lifting him up. It was all dim lighting and loud laughter, music with heavy beats an undercurrent to it all. Seeing Shane had him soaring even higher, that light feeling you get when you’re truly happy and living in the moment. He tilted his head up to beam at Shane, his smile so wide he knew his face was scrunching up.

Shane grinned down at him, looking good with his hair all fluffy, a lock of it falling across his forehead. He was wearing that pink shirt the internet loved so much - that _Ryan_ loved so much - though to his disappointment it wasn’t indecently unbuttoned like in the video. _Next time_ , Ryan thought, though he wasn’t even sure what his brain meant by that.

“Lookin’ good, Bergara,” Shane complimented, and Ryan flushed, his pleasure at the compliment settling into his body, warming him up.

“You too, squatch,” he said, peering up at him through his eyelashes in his best flirty look.

Shane looked slightly taken aback, like he hadn’t expected Ryan to lob a compliment back at him. Given the flirting they’d been engaging in lately, maybe he could be a little more free with the stupidly infatuated thoughts that crowded his mind. He didn’t have to leap right to _I want to get married and have kids with you_. That was at _least_ a third date conversation. Bare minimum.

“You always look good,” Ryan said softly. He wasn’t sure Shane heard him over the music, but he clearly got the vibe, because his eyes softened and he shuffled even closer. Ryan’s hand tightened around the cup he was holding. He couldn’t seem to look away from Shane’s sweet brown eyes, and for a moment he forgot they were in the middle of a party filled with their coworkers.

“If you’re going to make eyes at each other, at least let me get it on video,” Curly said from over Ryan’s shoulder. “I would get so many likes over you sweet babies.”

Ryan laughed. He turned, stepping closer to Shane, almost tucking himself against Shane’s side so they were both looking at Curly. Shane rested his hand against Ryan’s lower back, and so encouraged, Ryan leaned against him. Shane smelled good, something woodsy and sharp. Ryan wanted to smell it for the rest of forever.

“That’s the Ghoul Boys difference,” Shane joked. “Bringing in the comments and likes.”

“Mm,” Curly agreed. He was smiling knowingly at them, eyes bright. When he met Ryan’s gaze, he winked. Ryan winked back, delighted with his life.

People came and went and drinks kept coming. Ryan lost track of Shane and found himself at a table with Steven, Andrew, Zack, and Jen. His laugh was a little too loud, his jokes dumber than usual, but everyone was smiling and Ryan felt ridiculously fond of all of them.

When Shane settled into the empty seat next to Ryan - which he’d purposely guarded in case Shane dropped by - it’s with two plates heaped with food. He set it between the two of them and Ryan didn’t hesitate to reach out and help himself to one of the tortilla chips covered in gooey cheese. He hadn’t realized he was starving until Shane showed up, and he gave a garbled thanks through his mouthful.

“Fuck, how did you fit all that onto one plate?” Jen asked, peering over at the food.

“You start with a wide base,” Shane said, “and then pile food up.”

“Are those chicken wings?” She asked, leaning forward. She reached out to snag one of them, but Shane slid the plate further away from her, closer to Ryan.

“Hey, get your own, this one’s mine,” He admonished. Jen rolled her eyes at him and sat back in her seat, smirking.

“Yours and Bergara’s,” she said, gesturing toward Ryan, who had helped himself to one of those admittedly delicious looking chicken wings. He shrugged at all of them and leaned closer to Shane. They weren’t being subtle at all, but he kind of liked it. Shane didn’t seem to mind either.

“I have to make sure he eats,” was all he said.

“Aw, you take such good care of him,” Steven teased. Ryan felt his cheeks sting with heat at the idea of Shane taking care of him, making sure he got what he needed. Shane shifted so his arm was resting along the back of the chair Ryan was sitting in, until Ryan was practically surrounded by Shane. The heat in his cheeks deepened, and his lips curled up into a smile.

Jen rolled her eyes and left to get her own food. Ryan slumped further into Shane’s side and let the conversation wash over him. Some of his favorite people were at this table, and it was nice to just get to spend time with them without work obligations controlling the conversation.

When Jen returned with her own heaping plate - for someone so small, she could out-eat Ryan and Shane if she so chose - she had another small plate with two pieces of pie on it. She sat that plate in front of them with a wide grin.

“For the lovebirds,” She said cheerfully. “Congrats on finishing another season of Unsolved.”

“Aw, you shouldn’t have,” Shane joked, picking up one of the forks to take a bite. He hummed happily at the taste, then took another small bite. He didn’t say anything about the nickname. Ryan stayed quiet, too.

“It was no problem. Literally, it’s not like I made it or anything.”

“Jen always puts the most effort into her gifts,” Ryan said, grinning at her. She shrugged her shoulders at him and laughed. She was notoriously bad at giving gifts, but she did put a lot of effort into trying to figure out what to get people.

Steven and Andrew began to argue about cakes versus pies, with Zack adding his own (apparently incorrect) opinions. Ryan watched Shane steadily eat his slice of chocolate silk pie. Jen had overdone it on the whip cream, and it inevitably ended up smearing across Shane’s mouth. Ryan watched his tongue dart out to lick it clean, hardly blinking.

Shane glanced up and caught him looking. His mouth curled up into a pleased smile even as his cheeks turned pink. His eyes darted down to look shyly at his lap before he took a breath and looked back at Ryan. He moved their demolished dinner plate aside to make room for the pie and shoved it closer.

“Want some?” Shane asked quietly. All that remained of his piece was the crust, which Ryan knew he wouldn’t eat. Ryan nodded and reached out to pluck Shane’s fork right out of his hand instead of using his own. He stuck it in his mouth and sucked the little crumbs of pie and chocolate off it before using it to cut a piece off his own pie. He carefully didn’t look at anyone as he ate; his ears were burning and he could already feel them looking at him.

“Damn, Ryan,” he thought he heard Zack mutter.

Ryan had never been one for subtlety or hiding his feelings from someone he was interested in. It was different with Shane for many reasons: because he was a guy, because the feelings Ryan had for him ran deeper than they had with anyone else, because they were co-hosts on Unsolved, which depended so much on their dynamic.

He didn’t want to go too fast and ruin things. He didn’t want to have to wait to kiss Shane either.

There was something fun about being in this flirty, not-quite-together stage, though. About watching Shane’s eyes darken when he did something sexy, or getting Shane to look at him with that soft, open look that never failed to make Ryan flush all over. Ryan never got to spend much time enjoying this part. His lack of subtlety meant he usually made a move as soon as he had even the faintest idea the feelings were mutual. He found he liked this.

Ryan looked up and met Shane’s eyes. Shane was looking at him so intently, like every move Ryan made was worth committing to memory. Ryan smiled at him, feeling a little bashful after being so overt, and Shane smiled back. Ryan wanted to spend every party and family function with Shane’s arm resting on Ryan’s chair and Shane’s eyes on him.

Ryan thought maybe tonight would be the night they’d finally take a step forward. There was alcohol in their blood and desire in their veins. They were on the same page - Shane looked at Ryan’s mouth like Ryan looked at Shane’s hands. Ryan wanted with relentless fervor - for Shane’s love, for his touch, for everything he’d been promising Ryan with those beautiful, brown eyes.

But even with the food they’d eaten, the alcohol was making them sloppy and giggly. He looked up at Shane and knew their first time wouldn’t be like this. Ryan wanted to be sober. He wanted to be able to look at Shane and tell him all the things Ryan held behind clenched teeth, pushed back into his heart by fear and nerves. Ryan was a romantic, and even if Shane was an ‘actions speak louder’ guy, Ryan wanted to say the words.

He needed to say the words.

So when Shane walked up to Ryan on legs that weren’t steady, all flushed and disheveled, looking too good to be true, Ryan swayed forward until his face was pressed against Shane’s chest. Instead of the kiss Ryan wanted to give, he nuzzled Shane’s chest and said things like _I’m sleepy_ instead of _take me home_ and _you’re comfy, big guy_ instead of _please please stay with me forever_.

Shane laughed, the rumble of it buzzing pleasantly against the part of Ryan’s skin touching Shane’s sternum. He ran a hand through Ryan’s hair, gentle strokes that left Ryan even more heavy-limbed. Shane used one hand to call for an Uber while the other held Ryan against his chest. They swayed back and forth where they stood, too wrapped up in each other to care about anything else. Shane still smelled good. Ryan wanted to take that smell home and wrap himself up in it.

When the Uber arrived, Shane had to peel Ryan off him. More tired than drunk now, Ryan gave Shane a small, grateful smile as he climbed into the car. Shane caught the door as Ryan was closing it, and ducked down so he could peer in at Ryan.

“Here, baby,” Shane said, and handed Ryan a tube of chapstick. Ryan wordlessly dug out the old one, setting it carefully into Shane’s outstretched hand. Shane deliberately grabbed Ryan’s hand as he began to pull away and gave it a squeeze. “Let me know when you get home. Drink water.”

“You, too,” Ryan insisted, and Shane winked.

Ryan fell asleep with his phone clutched in his hand, Shane’s ‘ _Goodnight <3’_ lighting up the screen.

* * *

When their return flight to California was cancelled, Ryan called his family, and then Shane.

They were in Illinois to sneak in a holiday special at an abandoned mall rumored to have been the place of more than one grisly death. It had been chilly and full of echoes, setting Ryan’s teeth on edge. Many of the stores still had faded, dirty signs announcing popular brands, and it only added to the eeriness. There was something very creepy about a place that was designed to hold so many people at a time, now empty. But they survived, as usual, and once the shooting had finished, Shane had taken off for Schaumberg, bouncing with eagerness, face lit up with adorable excitement.

But Ryan, TJ, and Devon were now abandoned, cut off from home and their families. The other two were still on the phone, delivering the bad news. Ryan turned away from them to stare out the airport window, phone pressed against his ear.

Shane didn’t sound surprised. He also didn’t hesitate to extend an invitation for the three of them to stay with his family.

“Are you sure?” Ryan asked, worried about imposing. Nerves made the skin on the back of his hands prickle. He wasn’t sure he was ready to meet Shane’s parents, especially not by butting in on a holiday. He wanted to make a good impression, but he’d only packed comfortable travel clothing, and he was sure he looked a mess from sitting at the airport for so long.

“Yeah, of course,” Shane said firmly. “Mom wouldn’t allow any of my friends to spend Christmas Eve at an airport.”

When Shane arrived, Devon settled into the front seat while Ryan and TJ squished into the back after loading most of their luggage into the trunk. Ryan stared at the back of Shane’s head most of the way to Schaumberg, idly thinking about touching his cold fingers to the back of Shane’s neck or pressing a kiss just below his hairline.

He looked away only when they hit the city limits of Shane’s hometown. He took in the cute, snow-covered city with its Christmas decorations and bundled up residents. They stopped at a light next to the park and Ryan watched the kids play in the snow, making him smile. Ryan disliked being cold - wasn’t built for it, didn’t want to be. But he had to admit there was something magical about the falling snow during sunset, about going home to hot cocoa and a warm meal.

He glanced at Shane. Ryan couldn’t imagine leaving California permanently for a colder climate, but he could imagine spending a couple weeks out here every year. Having a snowball fight with Shane, pulling him closer by his scarf, cold kisses that slowly warmed their lips…

Shane’s parents lived in a two-storey house in a cul-de-sac. The Christmas lights and snow made everything look picture-perfect and quaint. They left their bags of equipment locked in the trunk and hauled in any luggage containing their clothes. They followed Shane single file through a door and into the garage to take off their snow-soaked shoes before finally going into the house itself.

Shane’s mom was surprisingly short for having given birth to a sasquatch. Ryan could rest his chin on the top of her head if he so chose, and when he met Shane’s amused eyes, he could tell his friend knew what he was thinking.

Mrs. Madej - “Call me Sherry” - pulled him into a tight hug. He stooped awkwardly to wrap an arm around her. She was warm and smelled like floral perfume, and Ryan felt a twinge in his heart at the thought of his own mother. He gave her his most charming smile when she pulled back to cup his face.

“Thank you for looking after my baby,” she told him, and Ryan’s smile widened. Shane groaned and rolled his eyes, but his lips were curled into a fond smile.

“Thanks for having us for the night,” he replied.

“Oh, I couldn’t let you spend Christmas Eve at the airport. Least I could do is provide some food and a place to sleep.” Sherry let him go to pull TJ and then Devon into their own awkward hugs. Ryan took the opportunity to sidle closer to Shane, deliberately bumping their shoulders together. Shane smiled sweetly at him, looking pleased to have Ryan there. Ryan felt his heart melt at the way Shane was looking at him. He reached out to hook his pinky around Shane’s and gave their hands a little swing.

Shane’s eyes crinkled even more as his grin widened. He squeezed his pinky around Ryan’s and then jerked his head. Ryan followed, like he always did, with Shane’s hand extended behind him so they could continue to touch. Their hands disconnected as Shane turned into the kitchen, bright and full of food. Ryan’s stomach grumbled.

Ryan took a moment to greet Shane’s dad, Mark, a pleasant looking man that Shane seemed to inherit his chill attitude from. Scott greeted Ryan with familiarity and some measure of fondness, pulling him into a one-armed hug that Ryan happily returned. Scott, at least, was a known quantity in a situation that had Ryan feeling nervous. He wanted Shane’s parents to like him and it was twisting his stomach into knots.

“We usually have a big family dinner on Christmas day,” Sherry said, looking apologetic. “The night before is usually a smaller meal since tomorrow will be insane.”

“God, no, this is great,” TJ said, looking at the big pan of stir fry on the stove. “It’s way better than anything we’d get at the airport.”

“Help yourselves,” Sherry said, looking pleased. “I made a big batch when I heard you were coming.”

Shane reached into the cupboard next to the fridge and took out a stack of plates that he set down on the counter. While they lined up to get food, Shane dug out a handful of forks and set those next to the plates. Shane slid in behind Ryan, plate and fork already in hand and rested one hand at the small of Ryan’s back, a gentle pressure that said _I’m here._ Ryan leaned into the touch, smiling at the way Shane ducked his head down to hide his smile. He restrained himself from going onto his tiptoes and pressing a kiss to the corner of Shane’s mouth.

Ryan met Scott’s twinkling eyes as they took their seats at the kitchen table, setting their full plates on the table mats. He winked when Shane took the only remaining seat at Ryan’s side, and Ryan felt his cheeks prickle with heat. God, was he so obvious that even Shane’s brother knew? He hadn’t seen Scott in a while - long before he and Shane started their overt flirting and touching.

TJ caught the brief interaction and sent Ryan an amused smirk. When Ryan tried to kick him, he hit the leg of the chair instead. So TJ sat, unrepentant, basking in seeing Ryan squirm. Ryan let up his glare only when Shane put his hand on Ryan’s knee, his thumb rubbing against the inside seam. Ryan spread his legs more without thinking, but Shane didn’t take advantage of the silent invitation, which was probably a good thing considering where they were.

It was really hard to focus on the conversation with the warmth of Shane’s hand sinking into him. The gentle rub of his thumb wasn’t helping. Ryan wasn’t so young anymore that such a casual, light touch could make him hard, but he was definitely feeling something. A stirring of interest; his entire body lighting up and narrowing down to focus on Shane’s touch. If they went upstairs and Shane kissed him, Ryan would probably get hard embarrassingly fast. He felt like he was riding the edge of arousal, and the slightest push could toppled him over.

When Shane finally removed his hand to take a sip of his water, Ryan gave a low whine of disappointment. He jerked his head down to look at his plate of food, hoping nobody had heard over the chatting. With nowhere else to look lest he meet someone’s eyes, he examined his plate of food. Ryan’s favorite part of stir-fry was baby corn, which looked like miniature versions of corn on the cob and tasted even more delicious. Mrs. Madej had put a generous amount in her stir fry, but he’d already eaten all of his.

Ryan eyed Shane’s plate. It was _right there_.

Mentally shrugging, Ryan reached out with his fork and jabbed a piece of corn. Shane’s gaze followed Ryan’s fork from his plate to his mouth. He gave a happy hum at the taste, and Shane let out an amused huff. He pushed his plate a little closer to Ryan as he ate a piece of steak. It was then that he noticed silence had fallen around the table, and he looked up to find Shane’s family staring at him. Shane’s mother had one hand on her husband’s shoulder, and Scott’s eyebrows were raised with surprise.

Shane calmly took another bite of his food.

“Something wrong?” Ryan asked, looking around the table. Devon shrugged and TJ sat back in his chair, looking interested at the obvious shock. Ryan looked at Shane’s parents. Had he broken some sort of unspoken rule?

“Not at all,” Sherry said, smiling at him. “We’ve just never seen Shane share his food.”

“I know he doesn’t like to,” Ryan said, staring nervously down at his hands. He picked at a hangnail. “But, I mean...I share with him, too?”

“Do you now?” Scott drawled. He leaned forward, his gaze fixed on Shane. “Isn’t that interesting.”

Shane’s ears were turning pink, even though his face never changed from that placid expression. Ryan watched Shane’s throat move as he swallowed, and without thought reached out to press his leg against Shane’s underneath the table. The barely noticeable tension in Shane’s shoulders disappeared at the touch, and he pressed his leg back.

When Shane didn’t say anything in response, Scott continued speaking. “Shane’s never liked sharing his food. Even when he was a little kid, he’d cry if someone took something off his plate. Don’t even think about taking a sip of his drink, either. If his mouth had touched it, nobody else could.”

Ryan wanted to make a joke, but his stomach was tingling and a flush was spreading up his neck to his face. He’d known Shane didn’t like sharing his food, but he hadn’t realized he’d been so - intense about it. Shane had been sharing his food with Ryan for months while he was completely oblivious to how big a deal it actually was.

It was like swimming in a lake, only to realize it was an ocean. What else had Ryan been missing?

Ryan turned to look at Shane, only to find him already looking at Ryan. He was waiting for Ryan to come to his own conclusions, to react, and Ryan knew Shane would roll with whatever he went with. If Ryan played it off, so would Shane. If Ryan leaned into it...

Ryan smiled as warmly and fondly as he knew how. He didn’t look away from Shane’s pretty amber eyes as he said, “I like that Shane’s never had a problem sharing with me.”

It was worth the inevitable teasing from Devon and TJ just to see Shane’s pale cheeks turn a splotchy pink. Shane turned away to laugh shyly at his lap. Devon let out a loud, “Awww,” that had even Ryan’s cheeks flushing pink. But he was laughing unapologetically, because he’d been in love with Shane for years and he couldn’t regret expressing even a fraction of the warmth that lived in his chest, a softness made up of everything Shane.

It was so easy to love Shane. Ryan did it thoughtlessly, automatically, every single day. It was easy even under the eyes of Shane’s family.

Ryan felt a rush of endorphins from seeing Shane blush and wondered if he could get addicted to the feeling of loving Shane out loud. He’d always liked getting a reaction out of Shane and this had the added benefit of releasing some of the pressure in his chest. He wanted the Shane that looked at him with hunger in his dark eyes, but he wanted this Shane too: pleased and embarrassed by Ryan flirting with him in front of his family.

Shane reached out with his left hand to wrap his fingers around Ryan’s right wrist. He squeezed it once, and then let it go before he reached over to spear a piece of steak off Ryan’s plate. Ryan beamed down at his plate. His cheeks were beginning to hurt with the force of his smile.

“Well,” Sherry said, she and Mark both sporting wide grins of their own. “I knew inviting you all here for the evening would be interesting.”

Scott still seemed stuck on the food thing. “I can’t believe Shane’s eating off someone else’s plate,” he mumbled. “What the fuck?”

“Try watching them do it at every meal,” TJ said, long-suffering. Scott had no reply for that.

* * *

“We weren’t sure where to put you all at first,” Mark said. He threw Shane and Ryan an amused glance. “But I suppose that’s been taken care of.”

“Shane and Ryan will take Shane’s room,” Sherry said before they could react. “Devon will take the office - the couch pulls out, honey. TJ, I’m afraid you’ll have to take the living room couch.”

TJ shrugged. He scratched at his chin, the rasp of his fingers through his beard loud in the quiet. With dinner over, fatigue was setting in. Shutting off the lights as everyone prepared for bed was lending the house a soft, intimate air. “Still better than sleeping on the floor at O’Hare airport.”

Ryan gamely followed Shane into his childhood room. Exhaustion was pulling at Ryan’s limbs, making him stumble. It’d been a long day - he’d only gotten a couple hours of sleep in the morning, post-shooting, before rushing off to sit at an airport all day. While the room didn’t smell like Shane as Ryan knew him, seeing Shane undressing in the dark was a familiar sight. It lent a comfort to Ryan despite the unfamiliar surroundings.

Ryan shucked off his clothes, leaving only his boxers, and climbed into bed after Shane. Shane chose the right side of the bed, as he always did, and curled up on his side, face peaceful in the moonlight.

“Shane,” Ryan said quietly, reaching out to brush his fingers against Shane’s cheek. Shane opened eyes, smiling at Ryan before anything more could be said.

“Ry,” Shane said back.

Now that the time had come to say all the words Ryan had kept to himself, exhaustion had his tongue tripping, his mind sluggish. Ryan rolled onto his side until he was facing Shane, inching closer until they were breathing the same air. Ryan pressed his hand against Shane’s chest, feeling his relaxed heartbeat, hand moving with each of his breaths. Shane lifted his arm to curl it over Ryan’s hip, big hand splayed against Ryan’s back.

Every muscle in Ryan’s body went lax. Having Shane so close, hearing him breathe, had Ryan’s hindbrain whispering _safe_ and _comfort_. He was going to fall asleep before he could get it out.

Shane lifted his head to nuzzle Ryan’s nose with his own. “Go to sleep,” he said softly.

“Love you,” Ryan mumbled, and did as he was told, wrapped up in love.

* * *

Their rescheduled flight left early the next morning. During the rush of eating breakfast, using the bathroom, and thanking the Madejs profusely, Ryan unzipped Shane’s luggage and pulled out a thin sweatshirt and stuffed it into his own bag. He hoped Shane’s smell wouldn’t be gone by the time he pulled it back out.

Despite his hatred of early mornings and interrupted sleep, Shane drove them back to the airport. The others took off to give them a moment alone after their own goodbyes, and this time Shane rolled his eyes at their knowing looks and sly teasing. Whatever embarrassment had struck him the night before was now gone. Ryan rocked on his feet nervously, hands behind his back.

Shane was looking down at him with sleepy eyes and a bad case of bedhead and Ryan felt that same rush of love that he’d felt the night before. This time he let himself reach for what he wanted and pushed up on his tiptoes to press a lingering kiss to the corner of Shane’s narrow mouth. Shane made a soft noise and turned his head to align their lips, one hand resting on the back of Ryan’s neck to keep him close. Ryan tried to memorize the feel of Shane’s soft lips and prickly stubble as a way to get through the next week apart.

By the time Ryan opened his eyes, feet firmly on the ground, legs a little shaky - not that he’d ever admit to it - Shane was smiling down at him, eyes dark and hungry. Ryan licked his lips, tilting his face up. Shane swayed closer but didn’t take the implied invitation.

“I’ll see you when I get back?” Shane asked.

“Text me when you land,” Ryan said. He grinned as he met Shane’s eyes and his tone went low, suggestive. “I’ll meet you at your apartment.”

“Oh?” Shane asked, raising an eyebrow at Ryan’s matter-of-fact tone.

“I have the key you gave me to feed Obi,” Ryan reminded him.

Shane smiled. Ryan had long ago rated Shane’s smiles from most favorite to regular favorite, and this one was number one - a smile so wide it [crinkled Shane’s eyes](https://64.media.tumblr.com/53eddc43c8d6eede54be25c81da7b23f/ef6c66e6af22c036-a9/s400x600/6378b9f871608675ac03d7007280d339b51c2f50.png) and showed off his teeth, [lighting Shane’s face up](https://64.media.tumblr.com/ed6e5350135c0ccbfc3061fd54d10435/e6c13eb135aae2da-1b/s500x750/2f9f3eeb1bedac29112763f6e08b938fba54a72c.jpg) with a joy that hit Ryan right in the heart. He smiled back helplessly, certain he was, as the fans liked to say, giving Shane the _heart eyes_.

“I’ll see you then,” Shane said, and Ryan darted in to press another kiss to Shane’s mouth before backing away. He walked backwards, finding it impossible to turn his back on Shane, and nearly tripped over someone’s luggage. Shane’s laugh filled the air and was the last thing Ryan heard before the automatic doors closed, cutting them off.

* * *

Ryan didn’t have a plan so much as a vague idea about what their reunion was going to be like. He wanted to be there when Shane unlocked his apartment door, and he had some hope about what might follow - things that involved mutual nudity and Shane’s bed, mostly. But he wasn’t prepared for the rush of feeling when Shane texted that his Uber had just dropped him off outside.

He jittered in place, wringing his hands, wondering if he should stay sitting on the couch or be at the door to greet Shane. He wasn’t sure if he’d spent too long stressing over options, or if Shane’s legs just ate up the distance from ground floor to his third level apartment, but the sound of Shane at the door had Ryan leaping to his feet, his brain putting out nothing but exclamation marks, his body full of adrenaline and excitement.

When Shane pushed the door open, he immediately dropped his bag on the floor with a sigh. Shane looked tired and rumpled, but his face lit up with happiness when he saw Ryan. It quickly turned to surprise and a little bit of panic when Ryan’s adrenaline-fueled body had him hurling across the room to leap into Shane’s arms. Shane stumbled back a few steps, and Ryan wrapped his legs around Shane’s slim hips and yanked his large head down for a deep, wet kiss. When Shane’s large hands landed on Ryan’s ass to keep him in place, Ryan couldn’t help the small noise that escaped him.

The kiss was an _I missed you_. A _Don’t leave me again_. Shane slowed the kiss down, turned it gentle, and Ryan heard _I missed you, too_ and _Next time we stay together._

When Shane ended the kiss, Ryan said, “Bedroom,” and barely had time to reach out to slam the front door closed before Shane was carrying him down the hall. Ryan pressed his face against Shane’s neck, sucking and nipping. Shane’s pale skin took marks so well, and Ryan had always wanted to stake claim to all that unblemished skin.

Ryan reluctantly unwrapped his legs from around Shane’s waist once they reached the bedroom. They stopped at the foot of the bed and Shane nudged Ryan to let go. It was once he was on his own two feet again that Shane finally took all of him in, and a huge smile broke out across Shane’s face.

“Is that my sweater?” Shane asked, tilting his head. “I’ve been wondering where that went.”

Ryan fiddled with the hem of it, blushing. The sweater was tight across his upper arms, but it fell mid-thigh since Shane was a long, noodly man. If he wasn’t careful, the sleeves slipped down and gave him sweater paws. “I may have taken it out of your bag back in Chicago.”

“Aw, Ry,” Shane cooed. “Have you been wearing it this whole week?”

“Shut up, Shane,” Ryan said firmly, not answering the question. He crossed his arms over his chest. “Are we going to have sex or what?”

“Anything you want, baby,” Shane said. He stepped closer and put his hands on Ryan’s hips, drawing him in and leaning down to press a kiss to the top of Ryan’s head.

Ryan’s face went pink at the pet name, even as he tilted his face up for a proper kiss. Shane obliged, humming, hands sliding down to grab the bottom of Ryan’s shirt. He gave a little tug, and Ryan pulled away to lift his arms up. Then he fiddled with his pants, sliding them down and taking his boxers with it.

Shane inhaled sharply. “You’re gorgeous,” he murmured, and reached out to brush his fingers against Ryan’s collarbone. “I want to get my mouth all over you.” The heat in Ryan’s cheeks burned hotter as the pleased feeling in his chest mixed with the arousal in his abdomen. His arms broke out in goosebumps. He’d been half hard since he’d leapt into Shane’s arms, but Shane’s words, mixed with the hungry way he was looking at Ryan, had him on his way to fully hard.

“You next,” Ryan said, and started lifting the bottom of Shane’s shirt. Shane let Ryan remove his shirt off easily enough, but hesitated with his own hand on the button of his chinos. Ryan licked his bottom lip and met Shane’s eyes. He reached out with one hand to push Shane’s hands aside. Then he unsnapped the button, fingers brushing against the soft, warm skin of Shane’s belly. “You’re so fucking hot, dude. I’ve been jerking off to thoughts of you naked for forever.”

“One day,” Shane said, voice low, “I’d like to watch you jerk off. Watch you get all wet and hard for me. You can tell me all about what you were imagining.”

“Yes,” Ryan breathed, eyelashes fluttering. “But only if I get to watch you, too.”

“Mmhm,” Shane hummed agreeable. “But I’m not as pretty a sight as you, sweetheart.”

Ryan made a soft noise. He shivered when Shane reached out and brushed his bottom lip with his thumb. Ryan pressed a kiss to it and opened his eyes. “I beg to differ,” Ryan said, and his voice was wrecked with arousal. Shane went to take a step closer to him, pants still unbuttoned, but Ryan pressed a hand to his chest.

“Take your pants off,” Ryan mumbled. For once, Shane listened, and he tugged his pants down with impatient jerks. He nearly tumbled over as he lifted one foot, saved only by Ryan wrapping a hand around his bicep and steadying him. Ryan huffed a little laugh and ignored Shane’s glare. Ryan let go only when Shane had his pants off and was straightening up.

Shane was lean, with a definition to his muscles that was only kind of surprising. He was really pale, with dark brown nipples and a short happy trail that led to -

“Oh my god,” Ryan said, astounded. “Where the fuck do you put that thing when you’re wearing clothes?”

“Ryan,” Shane said, sounding embarrassed. “Can you not -”

“Not talk about the elephant trunk in the room?” Ryan said, eyebrows raised.

“Jesus Christ,” Shane said and his entire face had turned a splotchy red. He covered his eyes with one hand. Ryan moved close, Shane’s dick brushing against his stomach. Ryan reached up and shoved Shane’s hand aside, and then pulled him down into a slow, sweet kiss. Ryan was filled with a warmth and love that felt weighted, like a physical symptom of the depth of his emotions. He kind of adored Shane and his bashfulness.

“You really are a big guy,” Ryan said, grinning sharply. He reached down and ran his thumb over the tip of Shane’s cock, paying special attention to the slit. A pearl of pre-cum welled up, and Ryan spread it over his cockhead. Shane shuddered.

“You’re a brat,” Shane said, shaking his head. He grabbed Ryan’s wrist and pulled it off his cock. He nipped at Ryan’s bottom lip, then soothed the sting with a press of his lips. “Such a fucking handful.”

“Think you got what it takes to handle me?” Ryan teased. He settled his clean hand on Shane to keep him close. He rolled his hips, rubbing his cock against Shane’s thigh, and a small whine made it past his lips.

“I can handle you just fine,” Shane said, confident for a man who couldn’t talk about the size of his dick without covering his face. “Just you wait.”

“Show me what you got,” Ryan challenged, and was surprised when Shane pushed him down on the bed and used his body to herd Ryan backwards until his head was on a pillow that smelled like Shane. Shane settled half on top of him and leaned down to nuzzle Ryan’s neck. He pressed a gentle kiss to Ryan’s skin before he started to suck. Ryan moaned at the feeling, reaching up to bury his hands in Shane’s hair. After a while Shane pulled back with a quiet, wet sound.

“My mark looks good on you,” Shane said, and grazed his teeth over the bruise. Ryan tilted his head so Shane could have better access, and Shane obliged him by sucking more marks on his neck and collarbone.

“What do you want?” Shane asked him once he was satisfied. His pupils were so dilated there was only a thin ring of color, and his cheeks were flushed a gorgeous pink. His mouth was red and wet.

“Anything, please,” Ryan panted. He arched, trying to press his body against Shane’s, to get some friction. His cock was starting to leak now, dribbling onto his stomach. “I don’t - hah - I don’t know.”

“Have you done this before?”

“Uh, kind of? I exchanged a couple of handjobs back in college, before Helen. It wasn’t like this.” Ryan wanted to reach out and pull Shane on top of him. It was crazy how much he wanted him, the way his body was screaming for him. Ryan had always been aware of his body and what it wanted, but he couldn’t remember ever feeling like he’d go crazy if he wasn’t touched, reduced to begging before they’d even gotten started.

“Okay,” Shane said, “We’ll take this slow.”

“ _Shane_ ,” Ryan cried out, protesting. He wasn’t sure he’d be able to handle going any slower. He was slowly losing his goddamn mind. He wanted Shane on top of him, making him come.

“Shh, baby, you’ll come, I promise,” Shane soothed. “I just meant we won’t leap right to fucking. Like, like, anal sex.”

Ryan squeezed his eyes shut at that and his hands clenched into fists. Oh fuck, Shane looking down at him from between his spread legs, those _fingers_ sliding in-

Ryan made a noise he’d never heard himself make before. It was high-pitched and _needy_ , and Shane laughed against his chest as he shuffled down.

“Like that idea, do you? We’ll put a pin on that for later.”

Shane licked Ryan’s nipples, and the jolt of pleasure it sent straight to his cock surprised even Ryan.

He’d gone home after the Area 51 episode to see if there was any truth behind the bit, but nothing he’d tried compared to the wet heat of Shane’s tongue. His fingers alone couldn’t hold a candle to the way his cock jerked and leaked when Shane started to suck on one nipple, his other hand reaching up to pinch and flick at the other. Ryan clenched his jaw shut to muffle the loud noises he was making.

“Don’t be quiet on my account, sweetheart,” Shane murmured, switching so he was sucking on the other nipple. Ryan arched up, presenting his chest to Shane, and let his mouth fall open to groan loudly at the ceiling. Ryan cradled Shane’s head between his palms, feeling Shane’s hair slip through his fingers. He’d always wanted to touch Shane’s hair, and it made the joy in his chest expand when he realized he could do that _whenever_ he wanted.

Ryan let out a whimper at the thought, and Shane grazed his hard nipple with his teeth before pulling away.

“Look how wet you are,” Shane rumbled, wrapping one big hand around Ryan’s cock to give it a slow, teasing tug. Ryan let out a _mmnah!_ noise of surprise and rolled his hips, thrusting his cock into the channel of Shane’s hand. “Are you always this wet, Ryan?”

“Yes,” Ryan gasped, blinking sweat out of his eyes. Shane peered up at him with those dark, hungry eyes, an awed smile on his face.

“Mm, I like it.”

Ryan trembled at the words, pleasure spreading his blush down his neck and to his chest. He turned his face away to bury it in the pillow. If Shane kept looking at him like he was the sexiest thing he’d ever seen, and saying things with that dark edge to his voice, Ryan was going to come. Nobody had ever spoken with such frank admiration for him during sex, and Ryan liked it so much.

He suspected he’d like anything Shane did with him.

“Hey, hey, look at me,” Shane said firmly, and Ryan struggled to open his eyes against the pleasure of Shane’s hand on his cock. “Don’t close your eyes, Ry. I want you to know who you’re with.”

“Like I could forget,” Ryan mumbled. “Been wanting this for too long.”

Shane let out a punched out noise. He released Ryan’s cock - Ryan whined with displeasure, thrusting against air - and then slid his big body onto Ryan’s, using his knees and elbows to keep his weight from crushing him. Shane’s cock brushed against Ryan’s hip as he moved, and Shane let out a little groan at the feeling. Ryan shivered at the wet trail it left behind, at the knowledge that it was Shane’s come on him, getting him wet.

Shane leaned down to press kisses to Ryan’s face, before kissing him deeply. Ryan opened his mouth and let Shane in, rutting against Shane’s body where it was pressed against his. Shane’s weight felt so good on top of him, holding him down, a barrier between Ryan and the world outside. Shane shifted his hips and their cocks brushed together.

“Ah, mnn!” Ryan cried out into Shane’s mouth at the new feeling.

Shane’s cock was hot and wet and so _hard_. Feeling it rub against Ryan’s made him quake with emotion, arousal making his breathing heavy. Ryan was leaking so much now that it was easing the way, making everything slick. Shane pressed his forehead against Ryan’s and they breathed each other in as their hips found a rhythm.

Ryan did his best to peek down without moving too far from Shane’s face, and watching their cocks move against each other made him moan louder. Shane grabbed Ryan’s hands and held them against the mattress above Ryan’s head, tangling their fingers together. Ryan lifted his chin to press another wet, sloppy kiss against Shane’s mouth before going back to watching their cocks.

It was hot as hell, watching pre-come leak from Shane’s cockslit, mixing with the mess Ryan was making of himself. Watching Shane’s cock slide through the small puddle Ryan had leaked, knowing it was the two of them, _together,_ making everything feel so good. Ryan clenched down on Shane’s hands and spread his legs more.

Ryan glanced up to find Shane watching his face, expression intent. He hadn’t looked away from Ryan _once_ since he’d climbed on top of him, and it made Ryan’s heart clench. It was an odd moment to look at Shane and realize he’d never really _seen_ him from so close before. Shane’s skin was flushed pink from sex, a thin layer of sweat making him glow. He was stubbled and had little freckles on his nose and cheeks, his sweaty hair falling into his face. Ryan wanted to look at him like this every day for the rest of his life; take a moment out of each day to pull Shane close and admire him.

“Shane, g-god,” Ryan choked out, “You’re so fucking hot, I love you, I love you.”

Shane’s eyes fluttered closed, though he opened them again immediately. His thrusts went erratic for a moment; he pulled back too far, and on his thrust against Ryan, instead of sliding against Ryan’s cock and belly, he slid down, against Ryan’s balls. The sudden feeling of it lit every bit of Ryan up, and his balls drew up close and he came with an astonishingly loud moan, legs clenching against Shane’s hips as his body shook through an intense orgasm.

“Ryan,” Shane breathed, and he let one of Ryan’s hands go to reach down to grab his cock and angle it as he came. Shane’s hot come landed on Ryan’s softening cock, on his stomach and chest. Shane groaned like he was dying and collapsed on Ryan, smearing the mess between them. Ryan rolled them as best he could so he wouldn’t suffocate under the weight of a sasquatch, though he kept a hand on Shane’s back to keep him close.

They lay there, catching their breaths, their sweat and come cooling on their skin. Ryan reached down idly to swipe some with his finger. He stuck it in his mouth and sucked thoughtfully. He’d tasted his own come before out of curiosity; Shane’s wasn’t much different. He liked it.

Ryan looked up to find Shane watching him with his finger in his mouth. Ryan pulled it out with a pop and smiled.

“Blowjobs are definitely next,” He said, and Shane dramatically flung himself onto his back.

“I’m going to die,” He proclaimed. “That’s an image that - there’s - heart attacks are a thing.”

“You’re not that unfit, Jesus,” Ryan said, elbowing him. “You won’t die from me giving you a blowjob.”

“I’m old,” Shane countered.

Ryan rolled right on top of him, bracketing Shane’s head with his arms. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to the sharp curve of Shane’s nose.

“Only a few years older than me, big guy,” Ryan said. “Don’t go dying on me, yet.”

“Well,” Shane said, eyes creasing as he smiled at the kisses Ryan was now pressing to random parts of his face, “I guess we do have a lot of different sex positions to try.”

“Soon, hopefully,” Ryan said, giving him a look. Shane huffed a laugh, his body shaking under Ryan’s.

“Give me a half hour. And some gatorade.”

“Food,” Ryan added consideringly. He’d been too nervous to eat before Shane arrived.

“A nap?” Shane asked hopefully. Ryan squinted at him, uninterested but willing to hear Shane out. It didn’t sound more fun than learning how to blow Shane, but it was hard to say no to him. “I had to get up early to get to the airport. I literally just got home when you threw yourself at me like a hussy.”

“Who you callin’ a hussy?” Ryan asked, pinching Shane’s arm. He ignored Shane’s “Ow!” and conceded, “Traveling is exhausting. I guess we can have a meal and then a nap. So much for your half an hour estimate.”

“I am allowed to change my mind,” Shane said with a weird accent.

“Right-o,” Ryan agreed, with a far less impressive accent. _Whatever_. He rolled off Shane and the bed, deftly landing on his feet. He stretched, his body feeling achy and good the way it always did after a good orgasm. He turned around to find Shane watching him, mouth slightly open. Ryan preened under the attention. Shane sat up and swung his legs over the side of the bed, though he remained seated.

“Like what you see?” He asked, posing with his hands on his hips.

“You know I do,” Shane said, giving him a _look_. Ryan’s ears burned and he felt that familiar pleasure at the compliment. Ryan stepped between Shane’s legs, leaning down to cup Shane’s face and kiss him, still giddy that he could do that. Shane’s fingertips brushed against Ryan’s cheeks and down his neck before Shane settled his hands on Ryan’s shoulders. When they broke apart, Ryan smiled at him, bright and fond.

“Love you, big boy,” He said, and Shane’s face creased into that embarrassed smile he gave every time Ryan called him that.

“I - love you too,” Shane said haltingly, but the sincerity in his eyes smoothed out the rough delivery. Shane wasn’t built like Ryan, with easy words and open affection. Shane was subtler, better with showing than telling. Ryan appreciated that Shane was saying the words, acknowledging that Ryan needed to hear them. Ryan would try to meet him on his own ground and keep the public affection to actions only, saving the words for private.

Shane’s stomach rumbled, intruding on the moment. Ryan stepped back with a laugh, giving Shane room to stand and walk to the dresser, pulling out a pair of sweats and an old _Unsolved_ merch shirt. Ryan went to follow him, still naked, but Shane halted in the doorway.

“I’m not letting you into the kitchen like that,” Shane admonished. “Legitimate sanitary concerns aside - I’m not cooking when you could get burned.”

“Aw, it’s like you care about me or something,” Ryan cooed. He walked to the foot of the bed and snatched up Shane’s oversized sweater, then wandered out of the bedroom and into the bathroom. He wiped himself down with a washcloth before pulling the sweater on over his head. He tugged until the edge of it fell to his thighs and pulled the sleeves down over his hands. Shane watched him from the doorway and Ryan held his arms out. “Ta da.”

A blush stole across the bridge of Shane’s nose and to his cheeks. “You are a fucking menace,” was all he said before he disappeared down the hall. Ryan cackled and followed him, more than happy to watch him in the kitchen, messy brown hair lit up by sunlight, body lit up with joy. A nap, and then more sex, and then a whole lot of happiness, Ryan decided.

 _Nap, more sex, and then a shower_ , Ryan amended, feeling his skin begin to itch underneath the sweater. _But it’s always going to end with a whole lot of happiness._


End file.
